can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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