I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
