For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize