You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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