if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
