Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
