That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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