Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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