i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i think i just lost a toe
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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