Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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