I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
