At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
