I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
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what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
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She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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