I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
