Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
