I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
