Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
