Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
