Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
