I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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