you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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