The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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