Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
