Do you still have your period?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
