I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize