C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
