she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize