you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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