am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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