didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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