my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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