Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You can't motorboat a personality
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
