I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
