we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
