So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
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Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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