the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
