You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
another moral hangover. fuck.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My dad just said "fuck circus"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
