I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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