Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize