It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm passing your future prison.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
