I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
