At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So squirting runs in the family.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
