Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
