It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
