Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
