So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
