$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
