I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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