Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
