Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
