I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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