My balls are so social today.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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