Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
