Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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