Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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