that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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