Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
