i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
