But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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