put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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