if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize