frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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