Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize