So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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