he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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